I fixed Canada!" Colbert exclaimed Wednesday night on his show, The Colbert Report (pronounced RAY-pore), which airs Monday to Thursday. Colbert noted that his show debuted in Canada on Nov. 7, and featured a message, replayed on Wednesday's show, to Canadians: "I am Stephen Colbert. I have balls. If you're lucky, they might just rub off on you."
"Well, it looks like my balls rubbed all over Canada," Colbert noted triumphantly as a photo of Prime Minister-designate Stephen Harper and a Canadian flag appeared behind him. "Because they just elected a new prime minister, Stephen Harper, an American-loving, health-care-dismantling Bush wannabe."
"I fixed Canada in 77 days!" he exclaimed as balloons fell from above and a band played a jaunty tune.
That jaunty tune, Mr. Unkown Journalist of the Canadian Press, was the United States Marine Corp Hymn.