What is more American than the hot dog?
Sure, hot dogs were mentioned in Homer's Odyssey
back in the 9th century BC. Sure, they are often attributed to having their origins in Germany. Sure, a skinny Japanese man
holds the Coney Island hot dog eating title and the world record for hot dog consumption, but seriously, what is more American than the hot dog?
Here in the Chicago area, we are quite fond of our dogs. In fact, there is an art to creating them. The first point of order is not to spoil the dog with ketchup. The folks of the Windy City are very vehement about this, so write that down. NO ketchup.
Next, compile the following ingredients:
All-beef hot dogs
Yellow onions, diced
Sweet pickle relish
Kosher dill pickle spear
Serrano sport peppers
Poppy seed buns
Now we can get down to business.
First you will need to heat the hot dog. You can do this by any method of your choosing - boil 'em, roast 'em, blow torch 'em, grill 'em. Just don't nuke 'em. That is gross. While you are cooking your dogs, you can fire up the coffee maker to brew yourself some beer
. It will take five to seven days for the beer to ferment so don't expect to enjoy a cold one with your dogs. Then again, you are Canadian. What good Canadian doesn't have a cold two-four in the fridge? Go ahead and grab a beer. Grilling is thirsty work.
While the dogs are finishing cooking, steam your poppy seed bun. The dog goes directly into the naked bun and the toppings all pile on top. (How risquée!) You will want to pile on the toppings in this exact order: mustard, relish, onions, pickle, tomatoes, peppers, and celery salt. Don't stray from this magical ordering and keep in mind that Chicago is synonymous with Gangsterville (well, in the twenties anyway
). We don't want to tick anyone off by messing up these dogs.
Finally, remember NO ketchup
. I am not even kidding about that.
Don't make me break a kneecap. :p